Imperial Months and Holidays

Calender System

The Imperial calendar, like any other solar calendar, revolves around a 12-month system with each month having between 28-31 days. But this depends greatly on the Emperor's current mood.

(more to come soon)

Imperial Months

• Primary: the First Month
• Frimary: the Freezing Month
• Smarch: the Third Month ("Comes in like a Walrus, and out like a Ham")
• Soggus: the Rainy Month
• Merry: the Ironic Month (see holidays)
• Bugs: the Month of Constant Itching and Swatting
• Thermidor: the Hot Month
• Humidor: the Thick and Sweaty Month
• Milarkus: named after the first Emperor, Milarkus the Malcontent
• Macabre: the Disturbing Month
• Notembre: The Cold Month
• Dismembre: The Violent Month

Imperial Holidays

• Smarch 15th: The Ides of Smarch - marks the date of Emperor Milarkus's accension after the bloody massacre of the Evil Senate and the Eviller President. Lasts for 1 week, 2 days, and 18 hours (which ironically was the length of Emperor Milarkus' rule). This holiday involves heavy drinking.
• Smarch 28th: St Swugg's Day - celebrates St Swugg, the patron saint of sailors, who is credited for introducing snakes to Vulpinsula after not double-checking some odd-looking cargo. This holiday too involves heavy drinking.
• Soggus: Ignorance - named because no one really knows why it is celebrated yet it is still is a popular holiday. Involves mysterious and confusing rituals accompanied by sombre music. Each family partakes in a elaborate sit down dinner starting at sunrise, conisting of bitter-tasting food and dry tasteless bread. Not a noted drinking holiday.
• Merry 5th: The Festival of Sorrows - known through out the Imperium for its grand displays of dispair. The weeping can be said to be heard all the way from Bully Harbor to the coast of Tookumberry. Though this holiday does not include drinking, beasts may spend the days after in the local taverns, to make up for lost time.
• Merry: The last Sunday of Merry is when Muttersfeast is celebrated, also known as the Mothers-in-Law Day. Many husbands can be found hiding in their favorite pub for most of this holiday.
• Bugs: The first Friday and Saturday of this month is when Pater's Eve and Paterdee is celebrated. It is a time to lavish one's father in gifts and praise for being a limited resource in the Imperium.
• Thermidor 5th: The Day of the Dive, when the Missertross Poste in its entirety ceases operation so the Gulls can practice their birdly traditions.
• Humidor 22nd: Beetleborb Day - celebrates the Imperium's greatest composer, Q. Amadeus Beetleborb.
• Macabre 30th: Costumenach, the holiday where every beast's parents dress up in frightening costumes to try and scare their childeren into going to bed early. If they fail however, they must let their childeren eat vast amounts of candy and sweets, and stay up indefinitely.
• Notembre 8th: Old New Year's Day - celebrates the old new year.
• Dismembre 31st: New Year's Day - celebrates the new year. This is most definitely a drinking holiday.

Other Holidays

• The Feast of Ilsen: Celebrates the memory of some unimportant beast that happend to leave a lot of money to various groups to celebrate his death. Eventually became a holiday out of sheer force of habit.
• The Violent: The period between Dismembre 1st and 21st, which leads up to the holidays of Giftsgiving and Beating Day. These two holidays provide almost 40% of the Imperium's annual economic gain.
• Beat a Sean Day: Pretty self explanatory, this holiday, celebrated on Frimary 18th, involves the purchasing of a large heavy object (anything that's not a frying pan is largely discouraged) for the singular use of hitting any beast named Sean over the head with. A very popular holiday for anyone not named Sean. One particular beast, Sean S. Seanwood, is one of the Imperium's most elusive targets on this holiday.
• Giftsgiving: The day celebrating recieving vast amounts of presents.
• The Red Days: Beloved by all citizens who hate the Ministry of War?. Enough said.
• Flinky Day: Every sixteenth of every month we celebrate the stoat Flinky (from the Redwall? book Loamhedge.) Flinky art is greatly appreciated (though Flinky fanfiction will get you added to the Imperium's List of Great Heroes.) During Bugs, Flinky Day is extended throughout the week. May Flinky live in the hearts and souls of every Imperial beast.

Disclaimer - The Emperor (and the Ministry of Niceties) reserves the right to move, rename, abolish, cancel, and create any and all holidays he wishes.